Communication breakdowns happen so easily in relationships. We often try really hard to be what our partner needs, but our efforts seem to miss the mark:

“Stop trying to fix it, I just need you to listen to me.”

I know a couple that created a plan to address this issue head-on. Whenever “Mary” asks “Sam” if they can talk about something, Sam asks, “Do you want me to fix this, OR do you need me to listen?” Mary lets Sam know exactly what she needs.

Sam can stop guessing and relax. He knows when:

  • Mary wants his advice. So, Sam puts on his “fix it” cap and they get to work.
  • Mary needs a listening ear. So, Sam can let go of the need to fix and practices listening skills.

This little intervention has done wonders for their relationship. Together Sam and Mary work collaboratively to create the best possible communication between them.

The following video is a humorous account of this common communication struggle. Enjoy!


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